Falling of the Wagon ...

Well not quite - but I bet it got your attention!!! Would you believe my mother-in-law's front stoop? Yep, went for a tumble today, and broke my ankle.

I went on line today, to try and find some fancy picture to include with my posting, but they were all too dramatic. As the local medicine man explained, while it is broken, it is not a severe break. There is a small bone in one part of my ankle, which ought to be attached, and has broken. There is also some really good spraining of stuff. It involves tension bandages and crutches, for the next couple weeks, and a date with my local orthapaedic surgeon (- just to make sure).

For those of you who may be concerned, and here is the good (or the bad news) they say it won't adversely affect my canting.

Touching base

Well, friends;
Reading Week begins on Feb 18th. Which makes next week - the week before Reading Week - probably the most stressful time of the academic year.

I've been musing about why profs seem hellbent on assigning everything the week before Reading Week. (Yes, I think that seminary profs can be hell bent.) One friend posited that it was so that profs could mark during Reading Week. So, why not call it "Marking Week"?

Another friend suggested it's done because no one uses Reading Week to actually READ or be productive (wherein "Going forth and multiplying" does not qualify as being productive). So, if students aren't going to study, during Reading Week, why not have assignments due the week before.

In a programme which involves practicums, field placements, and chapel team assignments which often run concurrently to academics I would contend that the current method is neither productive, nor does it provide training in good time management skills (as I sit blogging - the irony is not lost folks).

When all kvetching is said and done - I must tip my hat to my friend M. While I hunker under a part time work load (two credits plus a bit of a third which is a carry over), as well as a part time field placement, my good pal M is taking SIX credits, plus student council stuff. For a lady who is pretty much 30 yrs older than I - I am impressed!!!! CHEERS!!

More tweed and elbow patches ...

Today I heard on a mysteriously unnamed radio station that folk legend Denny Doherty died today, at his home in Mississauga, Ontario. Originally hailing from Nova Scotia, his claim to fame was as a part of the folk group The Mamas and the Papas - one of my favourite groups.

Something I've learned about myself

Well, friends ... I've learned a little something about myself over the last few weeks.

I've become addicted to talk radio ... but not just to talk radio ... Oh No ... I listen to CBC Radio 1. As a kid I remember my folks (especially my dad and paternal grandmother) listening to CBC Radio. Turning the radio off just before the hourly news was akin to intentionallly giving my grandmother a stroke. I could watch them grow blanched and clammy should they miss their fix.

As a teen, I roomed with some friends in Muskoka, for a year. CBC Radio played endlessly in the garage. When I say endlessly, I mean literally endlessly. I could get up at 2 a.m., go down to the garage and Andy Barrie or someone would be broadcasting to the barn cat who lived in the garage.

Now why is this Blog worthy, you may ask? Coming to the realisation of my CBC addiction has changed my perception about myself - a change that may mean that my self perception is finally catching up with reality.

In my radically conservative teens, I thought CBC and their ilk were far too left leaning. They were clearly the kind of people who would unseat good, conservative, normal Canadians - our culture was clearly at risk. I would imagine English profs from York, in tweed jackets (yes - with elbow patches and pipes), and burned out hippies sitting around a radio that was blaring CBC radio. All the while this imagined audience would pat themselves on the back for being free thinking liberals (as though being free thinking and being liberal were somehow magically conjoined).

Fast forward twenty something years. My wife is off to work, and I've just dropped my daughter off at daycare. As I prepare for my day, I'm sitting in my 'den', clad in my plaid flannel shirt and jeans, listening to CBC Radio on my computer. I am now in the latter half of my thirties. As I stoicly sip my morning coffee, I have to face the fact - I am definitely NOT the radical fringe element that I used to be (completely forgetting about being urban - whatever that is). Maybe I never was 'radical fringe'.

To make things worse ... CBC publishes Podcasts - electronic versions of their broadcasts, in a downloadable digital format. Just what I need to feed my addiction. Another couple of weeks and they'll figure out a way for me to mainline this stuff straight into my cerebral cortex.

Thoughts are plethora this morning ...

Maybe I've had too much caffeine this morning, maybe it's because it's the first day of classes for the semester (more on this in a minute), but my mind is revving like a hyper little hamster, all cranked out on sugar nibblies, on his exercise wheel.

Some of the threads are as follows:

1. What's with this new version of blogger? Every time I log in I keep being enticed to switch to an upgrade. Is it not enough that I bare my meager thoughts to the digital world, for all to read, without having these e-sirens enticing me to upgrade them somehow? Does this somehow infer, that my old, un-upgraded blog-thoughts are somehow inferior? Why do I need to set up a Google account to legitimise the airing of my dirty, digital laundry? I wonder if there are any of 'my readers' who have tried this new upgraded version? Can anyone provide comments or feedback? They'd be welcome. Does this Google account replace my Blogger account? And finally, why can't I just read the dang instructions, where these would all likely be answered?
   
2. As I alluded to earlier - today is a much anticipated day in my little world - the return to the classroom. While I have technically been pursuing academia consistently, without significant break, since September '05 most of it has been in the practical arena since this past April. Today, for the first time since April, I will return to the classroom. For those who have been asking - I have 7 credits left, which I expect to finish by Christmas '07. This means I will be part time, for the rest of my programme. Largely, this is because I haven't been taking a full course load of 5 credits per semester, but just maintaining a full time status with 4 credits per semester. With doing daddy daycare 4 credits a semester was quite sufficient. This is the first time I won't be studying AND taking care of our daughter, so I am going to try to set two days aside, per week, to spend on campus studying. This also means that I'm looking for part time employment, or possibly even full time employment that would offer flexible hours, and we'll see how this meshes with my study plans.
   

Well, I should probably log off now - don't want to overwhelm everyone so soon after a long absence. Have a good day, and see you all next time.

Happy New Years Everyone!

Hi everyone! I just thought I'd make an opportunity to wish everyone all the best of the New Year.

Now, I've never been much of a one to make New Year's resolutions. I quit smoking in September, one year. I suppose the closest I've come, in recent years, has been to apply to university a couple years ago, toward the end of February.

The one thing I would say about New Year's Resolutions is that it takes a positive step beyond 'wishing' a Happy New Year into existence, for one's self (and maybe for others). Making a New Year's resolution goes beyond wishing, and takes a certain amount of action - and also responsibility - for one's own life.

In these days (and maybe in any day) who can fault someone for actually taking a considered and positive action toward improving their own lives, and thereby, the lives of those their lives touch.

The Return to Routine

'Pops' funeral was this past Saturday. Thanks to all who showed their support in various ways. Look for the return to more active blogging in the next day or two. I hope to have a bit more time on my hands (keyboard?) over the next two weeks, before classes resume.

It's been a while

This is my first blog entry in quite a while. While I have lots of news to catch everyone up on, that will have to wait for another day.

Today our family mourns the death of my father-in-law Cornelius Quammie. He died at home, after a period of failing health. I bid your prayers for his family, as they mourn.

The light of day ...

Ah, the light of day(s) ... and the aid of a friend and reader! It would appear that my most recent musings have raised at least one eye brow - and for an arguably good reason.

It was less than 48 hours ago that I mused on my return to academia. I, rather inarticulately, explored my own thoughts about the distinctions between theory and practise ... academia and the less lofty pursuits of my prior employment history. My clumsy, pre-dawn ramblings may have raised the ire of more than one attentive reader, and for that I apologise.

Rather than annoy, I had hoped, instead, to articulate my own surprise, and occasional frustrations at the new surroundings in which I find myself. The productivity of said surroundings that my personal history has taught me to question. (Having said that - there is very little my personal history has not taught me to question).

For the record - the teaching profession is more than valuable - until humanity develops some type of genetic memory - teaching is essential. The methods of teaching, and of teachers, are plethora, and many (if not most) are good. It is to those, that I apologise for any slander my last post may have caused.

Blink ... Blink ... Blink ...

Okay - I can't sleep. 3 o'clock in the morning, and I'm wide awake! This is ridiculous ... and it's the second time it's happened in the last month or so.

Could be a number of things too ... school starts in less than a week - and this will likely be the last semester I spend in full time education for this programme. In some ways, I'm looking forward to returning to school. I don't know if you've ever heard of people who 'catch the travel bug' or who 'catch the acting bug' ... well ... I think I've 'caught the academia bug'.

In some ways this new found love is frustrating - I've always heard (and kind of believed) that 'those who can't do, teach', and I'm not even really talking about teaching, but being in the environment where people engage in the intelligent free exchange of ideas. Of course, one has to pay for that intelligent free exchange of ideas (hence calling into question the free part).

In some other ways, though, I'm looking forward to the completion of this degree and moving on. My friends at Myers'-Briggs would probably attribute this desire for closure to what they would call my "high J tendencies".

My lovely wife is on vacation this week, so we've had more time to catch up on things - again - that free exchange of ideas that the stuff of life sometimes interrupts. This has brought up a new mental snag for me (or should I just say another mental snag). I've realised that I'm also coming to terms with the fact that middle age is imminently looming.

I can just envision many of those who read this blog snickering into their pajama sleeves - most of my friends are older than I am, so my admissions may seems somewhat ... well ... maybe youthful.

On another note, in my email box today, I found a lovely email. A friend has invited me to take photos at his retirement party, later next month (see, older friends). This was a mixed blessing, because while I was very flattered that someone would trust me to record the images of such a significant event, and it is very significant, especially for him, I am also saddened because I realise how much this retirement thing is costing my friend, and how much grief work is going into it.

Well, maybe I'm going to crawl back into bed, and try to get back to sleep. Sweet dreams everyone.

Yet another first ...

Well, another first, for me. I preached this a.m. at a non-Anglican church, delivering a 30 minute sermon! Which is two to three times longer than what I've become accustomed to doing. I had received the invitation earlier this summer, and had planned it for some time after the finish of CPE.

I drew from 1 Samuel 3 and 1 Peter 2:1-10, as my selected texts (no lectionary here folks). I spoke on a call to consecrating one's life as holy - in response to God's indictment of Eli, and his sons, through Samuel, and Peter's writings on the priesthood of all believers. Truth be told I could have gone longer.

It taught me something about myself, though. When I first started at Trinity, I was somewhat uncomfortable with a more actively participatory role in the liturgy, having never served in such a public capacity before. Having spent great chunks of time away from the Anglican church that I had grown up in, things seemed different from my recollection. Today, when I preached, I was more conscious of how familiar, and comforting, the liturgy has become, and was conscious of policing myself for things that would be inappropriate in the context I found myself.

Well - an experience at the least - and at least now I know that I can speak for that long, if I need to.

A fishy time ...

Today was what is becoming our annual trip to Marineland. A good time was had by all - bipeds included.

While it was cool (read as comfortable) it did rain intermittently throughout the day.

It was a good opportunity for photography, but it would've been nicer had the rain held off. Lovely day if you're a dolphin though.

So ... how does that make you feel?

Like I never want to answer that question again ... at least not for the next month. I'm on vacation. I'm checked out. The sign on my den door says "Gone fishin''.

I'm glad I did it, but it (and I) are done! At least for now.

In a month, I'm up for a 3 month internship, in a parish ... but that's in a month.

Oh What a Night!

Yesterday was my last 'official' on-call shift of CPE. I say 'official' because I've signed up for 3 extras between the end of CPE and September. "Why?" you might ask - simple - money.

In one on call, I feel I did more that I would describe as chaplaincy, then I've done the preceding 11 weeks of CPE.

The day started by leading the chapel's standard 30 minute worship service. Despite being the last student led service of the summer, it represented a lot of personal firsts.

It was the first time I preached without notes - I intentionally did not write out my homily before hand. I am aware that, during previous preaching engagements, I tend to refer to my notes more than I should. This has the effect of distancing me from the congregation.

It was also the first time I got out of the pulpit, and preached from the transept. This was liberating! I chose to do so for a number of reasons. If one isn't using the pulpit to hold one's notes (or possibly a glass of water) it begs the question "What is the use of a pulpit, other than a barrier between the homilist and the congregation?". Before the advent of sound systems, elevating the homilist made it easier for him to be heard (and it was always him). In many denominational traditions, it became an symbol of the elevation of preaching. The latter is a view that I think is being challenged, especially by those who have experienced the homilist bringing his or her homily to the people's midst.

After the service, throughout my overnight stay at the hospital, I had four significant calls. Without breaking confidentiality, I think I can state that I had one patient who wanted a visit so as to discuss issues faith, finding that very helpful; another patient was being released after having come to through emergency, and needed to be clothed before being released; and I had the opportunity to journey with two families grieving the loss of loved ones at the extremes of the age spectrum.

I left the hospital earlier than normal today (at noon), because I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. I was so tired that my eyes clicked and I strongly suspect that I smelled a lot like a goat. I was alos emotionally drained. But it was an amazing priviledge to share the love of God publicly and privately.

Rub for Good Luck

Well, I've been far more delinquent in keeping my blog up to date, than I ever intended - at least this summer.

CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) continues. While it seems all consuming, I realise that I don't have it as bad off as those doing their work at other facilities. Yep, I'm getting off easy - I get to do my paperwork at the office, I don't have to make up any time I miss due to illness, etc (not that I've missed any, mind you).

CPE has also been an experience in multi-faith ministry. This past Friday, we attended a Buddhist temple, in Mississauga (hence the pic). Last week Monday, we were at a Hindu Temple in Scarborough. This coming week seems rather mundane - with no feel trips that I know of. I might actually spend some time with patients - we'll see.

With four weeks remaining in my CPE programme, we students have been offered the opportunity to help out for the rest of the summer, by taking on calls. Why would we do this, one might ask? Because they pay, and we're all students. Plus, this will have the added incentive that we won't have class work after an on call, like we normally would.

Anyhow, I should be off to bed, morning comes earlier.

Close ...

I received a telephone call from a representative of the Postulancy Committee who advised that they have elected not to offer me postulancy, at this time. I have been offered the opportunity for a 'debriefing meeting' (my word, not theirs), which holds the promise of a better insight into the committee's decision, as well as an opportunity to determine any future in the Diocese (I may reapply to this twice more). Furthermore, there is always the choice to apply to another diocese.

While I did find this decision disappointing, I remain grateful for the academic and ministry opportunities that I currently enjoy, as well as for the support of many close friends. I also remain hopeful, and covet your prayers, in my continued discernment for ministry.

In 90 seconds or less ...

Hi all;
Today I had an interview to become a postulant in the diocese. Postulancy is a formation process one goes through on the path to ordination, and usually takes approximately two years. It is a time for those in authority, in the church, to verify the existence of a vocational calling, in your life.

If the results of this interview are good, then I will be accepted as a postulant. This means that the earliest I would be ordained, as a deacon, would be spring 2008. Postulant ... doesn't sound like much, but right now it feels like a BIG deal.

I will hear by this Friday afternoon, so watch this space.

Ordination

So last night, I served at a friend's ordination to the diaconate. It was actually pretty cool. It was only the second ordination I've been to - much smaller and therefore more intimate than last one I went to.

Two friends were ordained last night - one each from the two Anglican Seminaries in Toronto. Both these two ladies were ordained as transitional deacons, essentially implying that they will become priests within the next year or two. There are also those who are ordained as vocational deacons, because they feel they have discerned a calling to remain deacons in perpetuity.

The dean and students of both colleges were there, and there was an opportunity to socialise with friends afterward.

You know, about 10 or 15 years ago, when all my friends were getting married, I'd occasionally overhear the single bridesmaids at these functions complain, or make complimentary comments while having rather insincere expressions on their faces. I recall kind of mentally rolling my eyes when I'd here this ... Oh come on ... you know what I mean ... you've been doing the same thing since you were 14 and your old auntie was still pinching your cheeks and telling you that you're soooooo cute.

While I would hope that I'm really not that shallow, I can also now understand (in a way) what it feels like to be simultaneously happy for someone and look forward to sharing in their experience.

"It's quiet ... too quiet"

It's been a bit since I've written. The stress of exams is past - I had my last one on Tuesday of this week. I think it went well enough, but can't be sure for a week or two yet, when I'll receive marks.

It's been pretty quiet around here this week. We started our kid at daycare, next door, in anticipation of my summer programme (see below). The centre seems good enough, and the people are friendly, but it seems a bit odd to be at home, and not have anyone else here. I've spent the last few days tidying - almost compulsively. Due to the workload this semester, I haven't paid as much attention as I ought to, and things have slipped. Now that I have nothing else to do, and no kid around the house most of the day .... not much else to do.

Starting this coming Monday, I will be involved in a programme called CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education). It's like a chaplaincy internship at a facility like a hospital or prison. I will be doing my programme at Scarborough Grace Hospital - a few minutes from home. I feel really honoured to have gotten in, considering the competition. There are 15 spots spread across 3 centres in the city. CPE is a compulsory part of my masters degree, and many diocese' require it prior to ordination, so it's a good credit all round.

Anyhow, I'm off for a bit of a walk. Hope everyone is taking advantage of our lovely spring weather.

The Countdown Continues

Ten days ago I posted a list of outstanding assignments until the end of term. The good news is that many of those have been crossed off my list:

1. 1 short paper: this is a group project in its final throes.
2. 1 longer paper: this is essentially completed. I'm submitting it Wednesday, and the only reason is I haven't printed and sealed it yet is just in case of any last minute inspiration. One never knows.
3. 1 day of lectures: these were done last Thursday (April 6th).
4. 2 exams: well ... these are still outstanding, and are scheduled for the morning of April 20th.
   

I do have a meeting this week to evaluate the viability of my internship proposal. I hope to be doing my full time internship starting this fall. I have submitted a proposal and have scheduled a meeting to discuss it with "the powers that be".

A further note: Now that a lot of this stuff is done, I'm down to watching the mailbox for news about my postulancy application. I've been trying (rather desperately) not to think about it, since I've been told not to expect to hear anything until at least the end of April or beginning of May.